If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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