i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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