we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
