Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
