Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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