The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
