Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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