i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
