It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize