I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
