walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
