Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
