you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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