i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
