you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In other news, I just burned my penis
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
