well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think people are normalizing furries
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
