I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
