also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
