that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Blow job season was short but glorious.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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