if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude i'm inner monologue high
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
