No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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