Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
