Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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