put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
