Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
