I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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