I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
