your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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