Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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