so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
