as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
