So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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