My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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