Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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