I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
