I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
