I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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