Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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