i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
