We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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