just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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