it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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