Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
