ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
