I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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