We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
