I hate all girls vehemently.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
