Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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