Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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