I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
