when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
