he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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