Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
