Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
