Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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