That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
