im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
