I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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