before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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