just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
