problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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