That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
