dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I could fuck to npr.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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